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Chapter 812: Then You Need to Read More
"Let me tell you, when I was in Elementary School, all my grades were As," Ubu Saika tried hard to make her tone a bit playful and triumphant, but even she felt awkward hearing her own voice, "But one day after returning Home, I discovered that they had thrown away the Cat I raised. They didn't even consult me for my Opinion, the Reason being that I would definitely get into the best Middle School in Kumamoto, and that Middle School would require even more Effort, so I couldn't waste Time on Cats anymore."
"I had a big fight with them, and went Outside along the Street to look for a long Time. It was the only Friend who was willing to Keep Company with me when I felt tired and wouldn't be impatient, but that day I couldn't find it no matter what, and I haven't seen it since that day…"
Chi Feichei's Line of Sight from the corner of his Eye caught Ubu Saika actually Smilingly.
"They chased after me to find me. Although they scolded me angrily for being disobedient, they were still worried about me, right?" Ubu Saika said with a Smile on her Face, but her Gaze was very empty, "I decided not to forgive them so easily, so I would go Home and quarrel. I asked them to accompany me to find my Cat, and we were deadlocked for two Days. They insisted that they had done nothing wrong and would not accompany me to find the Cat, but that was okay, I could find it myself."
"I searched for a long Time. One day after School Dismissal and returning Home, my Stepfather's Colleague came to visit and said that I was so smart that even if I went to the best Middle School in Kumamoto, I would still be excellent. I suddenly felt Fear, Because although my Stepfather was being modest, I Saw the light in his Eyes. He would really demand that of me."
"That Night I thought a lot. I couldn't hold on anymore. I wanted to make mistakes, even just A Bit, to let them Realize that it was Hard for me to maintain the good Child in their Hearts. I thought of that Child who was inferior to me in every way. Her Father and her Mother would happily praise her and offer Congratulations after School Activity. Only I had nothing, and I also felt Fear. Sooner or later, I would disappoint them Because I was unable to do what I wanted and couldn't meet their Request. If that Day came, would I be thrown away by them like a Cat… No," Ubu Saika's Tone was relaxed, "How could that be? They love me. Thinking like this, I felt that no matter what, I had to try and prove that they loved me, so I Intentionally performed very badly."
Chi Feichei freed up his Right Hand to light a Cigarette, acting as a patient listener.
"I didn't get into the Middle School they expected me to get into, and they never gave me a good Face again," Ubu Saika was Still Smilingly, "During the first week of Middle School, in PE Class, when changing Clothes in the Changing Room, I Realize that Girls should wear Vests. I hadn't prepared one. My Mother Seemingly forgot. Fortunately, one of my Classmate's Mama had prepared a spare for her, and she was very nice and lent me one."
The time she really broke down was during her First Time Period. She relied on her Classmate's Help in a panic. Her Mother hadn't prepared anything for her. Thinking of herself that Day, she felt like a clumsy Idiot.
When she returned Home at Night, she specifically mentioned it to her Mother, and her Mother then told her what to do, but she didn't Discovery her inner panic and Fear, nor did she Comfort her.
Clearly, many Classmate's Mamas would explain to them in a gentle voice, Smilingly comforting their unease.
She wasn't sure whether the Emotion in her Heart was Resentment or unwillingness. After that, her Mother and Stepfather said that she couldn't associate with Children who would Hold Back, so she mixed into the Delinquent Group.
She told her Stepfather not to enter her Room and not to peek at her Things. That Man didn't agree, saying it was all for her own good, so she used the Money her biological Father gave her to rent a Secret Base Outside.
The angrier those two got, the happier she became, as if she was retaliating against the Neglect she had suffered, and also as if she was proving: Look, they do Care About me.
Ubu Saika rubbed her Face that had become stiff from Smiling, no longer maintaining a Smile, and her voice also became very soft, "How did it become like this…"
After her Mother had a Baby in her Belly, she Sense the Transformation. Those two suddenly became Indifference, no longer angry, no longer asking questions. When she returned Home, she was like a gust of air floating into the Home, occasionally hearing those two say a few words to her with gloomy Faces.
But Even If she had Sense it early on, she had never thought Before that her Mother would completely ignore her.
Now, she was really thrown away.
"I Don't Know what kind of Mood this is, and I can't explain it clearly…" Ubu Saika Turn Head to Look at the Man beside her who was silently smoking, and stretched her Hand towards the Cigarette Case placed beside the Man's Hand.
"Pa!"
Chi Feichei slapped Ubu Saika's Hand open with one Palm.
"It hurts!"
Ubu Saika withdrew her Hand, Looked at her red Hand back, and tears were about to burst out.
Chi Feichei put the Cigarette Case into his Pocket with his Right Hand, bit the Cigarette Butt, and said in a calm and low voice, "If you can't explain it clearly, then you need to read more Book."
Did he Understand what that Mood was like?
Probably Understand.
In his previous Life, when his Parents passed away, plus in this Life, in the Original Consciousness's Memory, when his Parents suddenly left, became Indifference, and became indifferent, he had two times just in his Memory.
After he crossed over, he hadn't Dream, but sometimes when he reviewed the Original Consciousness's Memory, it Seemingly sounded like a Little Boy's voice was constantly echoing:
'Look at me…'
'Please Look at me, please…'
'Please, Look at me…'
He Don't Know Whether Ubu Saika had cried, but he hadn't.
In his previous Life, when he Realized that he had lost his Parents forever, he didn't cry. The Original Consciousness also never cried again when he was completely desperate.
That Feeling was Just Like a Portion of his Heart evaporated, empty, and even the Ability to cry was lost along with it.
They were all trying to fill that blank space, making themselves busier so they wouldn't have Time to Feel it.
Then completely get used to it.
Even if the misunderstanding with Chi Shinnosuke and Chi Kana was resolved, he would have a Sense of Familiarity with those two, and he also Cared About those two, but he was just not used to Contacting those two to confide something.
"Can't you Comfort me A Bit?" Ubu Saika lowered her Head and rubbed the back of her Hand, and her Mood suddenly improved a lot, "By the Way, Raki, in the Email you sent me Before, you said that Takayama Otome harbored Resentment and was Easy to arouse Ambition… But I Think she is a very good Person. She didn't Help me get a Tattoo for Money, and she kept explaining the pros and cons to me, and she Seemingly hated her own background and didn't want to have any Connection with Violent Group at all. Can the Plan proceed?"
"Don't just Look at the surface of people," Chi Feichei Staring at the road ahead, his hoarse voice without a trace of Emotion, "What do you Think a Woman is in those Violent Group?"
"What is it?" Ubu Saika asked in Doubt.
Chi Feichei said without hesitation, "Tool, plaything."
The Status of Women in Japan is very low, and those Yakuza also adhere to the Ideology of the Edo Period, and are Right-wing Extreme. Women inside are even more without Status and can only be appendages of Men.
In Film and Television Play, there will be Women of Yakuza Leader, which Looks like they are very prestigious, but in fact, Women in Violent Group are just Tools to be manipulated. There are very few Women who really hold power. No matter how capable they are, many Internal people will not Care About them.
Just take Eguchi Noriko, who was Assassination by him Previously. She had her own Assets, led A Group of Women to do evil, and the large sum of Money she helped save even made the Organization tempted, but Eguchi Noriko was just dependent on a big Leader. Not only did she have to Help Making Money, but it was also common for her to Pour Water and serve Tea to A Group of people. The Money she helped save could be taken back if people wanted to take it back, without any Sovereignty.
And after Eguchi Noriko died, the Purpose of The Other Party's Investigation was Still to Chase the whereabouts of that Money and Confirm Whether other Gangs wanted to Start Doing something to them. No one Cared About Eguchi Noriko's Life and Death.
If you endure to become the Wife of a certain Leader, it will be even worse.
Many Women must become housewives after marrying Yakuza. The Home must be tidied up, and their own Men must be taken Care About. When A Group of Yakuza gather at Home, they must prepare food and drink, lay out the Bed and serve Dishes, and Packing Up and clean up. Sometimes they even have to wash Clothes for the Man's younger brothers and take Care About the Daily Life of more than ten people. In order not to cause Trouble for their Husbands, they stay at Home except for Go Out to buy groceries, and they don't even have Eguchi Noriko's Activity Space.
Dealing with Police Officer is also the Matter of these Women. If something happens to any of the Husbands' younger brothers, it is them who Ask the Police Officer about the Situation. It is also them who are responsible for receiving the Police when the Police come to Home for Investigation. After dealing with it, they have to Call their Husbands to report the Situation.
Those Women have no Reward, but they are willing to Work desperately, Just to make their Husbands have Face. In those Violent Group, the Ideology of 'a Wife's Status Rises with Her Husband's' is very serious.
If the Husband is arrested and imprisoned or dies, the Woman will also Work on behalf of her Husband, but after there is a new Candidate, she will lose everything, and even the shelter previously given by her Husband will be lost together.
Some of the filthier Things are even more needless to Say.
Among the Female Member of those Violent Group, in addition to the Wives and Daughters of the Member, there are also some women in the sex industry who are attached to the Violent Group, which are basically Tools for Men to vent.
Just now, Ubu Saika's Doubt didn't Seemingly be fake, In Other Words, this Girl had never thought about what her Future would be like at all. She Just Thought it was cool and wanted to anger her Mother and Stepfather, so she wanted to plunge into the big Pitfall of the black and evil Faction. From being a Delinquent to a Biker Gang, it is estimated that it is not far from mixing into Violent Group.
Takayama Otome, as the Illegitimate Daughter of the third generation Leader of the Kyokuto Society, her Status is not much higher than the bottom level. She has been following her Mother to wash Clothes, cook, and serve people since she was a Child. It was not until the third generation Leader who was nearly fifty years old recognized her Identity that she failed to become a Princess. Instead, she became a Tool for the third generation Leader to win over people's Hearts. In that year, the third generation Leader asked people to leave her with Tattoos all over her back and arms. In addition to her Status among Women being much higher, it only made her more likely to be regarded as a Target of Attack by hostile Faction, and it did not bring her any Benefit at all.
Takayama Otome is very smart. She learned the Skill of Tattooing and worked for ten years. After the death of the third generation Leader, Takayama Otome endured for more than ten years and became a Woman in her forties. Only then did she use the Favor accumulated over the years to break away from the Kyokuto Society.
Of course, the necessary Price is indispensable, and what is left is half a Little Finger.
The Intelligence of the Investigation cannot be detailed in every aspect, but many Details can show the Problem.
Takayama Otome used years of Accumulation to break away from the Kyokuto Society. Why didn't she completely sever the Connection with Violent Group?
Can't be severed? No, Takayama Otome did not suffer much Trouble when she withdrew. Other Group did not Care About her, and would not come to her for Trouble at all. When they met, they would Probably pretend to be Polite and say hello.
Not leaving is Because she is addicted to the Relationship and Status brought by the Accumulation of Favor, and Because she has lived in that Environment since she was a Child, her Ideology has been assimilated.
Even if her Status is Still not high, at least the people she meets are Polite to her, Isn't It?
Even if Takayama Otome Understand that those Violent Group have always maintained Politeness and politeness to people who do not belong to their Collective, and her politeness also comes from this, she Still feels satisfied.
Takayama Otome reveals her Disgust for the Life of Violent Group on the surface, but in fact she hates those History of her low Status, hates the past when she was treated with strange Gaze by Ordinary Person, but at the Same Time she cannot completely break away. After Repression for a long Time, her Personality is Easy to become extreme.
Power and Status are Takayama Otome's Achilles' heel. Due to the Impact she received since she was a Child, this kind of power and Status is only limited to Violent Group.
People who have grasped the Achilles' heel are very Suitable for utilization.
(End of Chapter)
"Let me tell you, when I was in Elementary School, all my grades were As," Ubu Saika tried hard to make her tone a bit playful and triumphant, but even she felt awkward hearing her own voice, "But one day after returning Home, I discovered that they had thrown away the Cat I raised. They didn't even consult me for my Opinion, the Reason being that I would definitely get into the best Middle School in Kumamoto, and that Middle School would require even more Effort, so I couldn't waste Time on Cats anymore."
"I had a big fight with them, and went Outside along the Street to look for a long Time. It was the only Friend who was willing to Keep Company with me when I felt tired and wouldn't be impatient, but that day I couldn't find it no matter what, and I haven't seen it since that day…"
Chi Feichei's Line of Sight from the corner of his Eye caught Ubu Saika actually Smilingly.
"They chased after me to find me. Although they scolded me angrily for being disobedient, they were still worried about me, right?" Ubu Saika said with a Smile on her Face, but her Gaze was very empty, "I decided not to forgive them so easily, so I would go Home and quarrel. I asked them to accompany me to find my Cat, and we were deadlocked for two Days. They insisted that they had done nothing wrong and would not accompany me to find the Cat, but that was okay, I could find it myself."
"I searched for a long Time. One day after School Dismissal and returning Home, my Stepfather's Colleague came to visit and said that I was so smart that even if I went to the best Middle School in Kumamoto, I would still be excellent. I suddenly felt Fear, Because although my Stepfather was being modest, I Saw the light in his Eyes. He would really demand that of me."
"That Night I thought a lot. I couldn't hold on anymore. I wanted to make mistakes, even just A Bit, to let them Realize that it was Hard for me to maintain the good Child in their Hearts. I thought of that Child who was inferior to me in every way. Her Father and her Mother would happily praise her and offer Congratulations after School Activity. Only I had nothing, and I also felt Fear. Sooner or later, I would disappoint them Because I was unable to do what I wanted and couldn't meet their Request. If that Day came, would I be thrown away by them like a Cat… No," Ubu Saika's Tone was relaxed, "How could that be? They love me. Thinking like this, I felt that no matter what, I had to try and prove that they loved me, so I Intentionally performed very badly."
Chi Feichei freed up his Right Hand to light a Cigarette, acting as a patient listener.
"I didn't get into the Middle School they expected me to get into, and they never gave me a good Face again," Ubu Saika was Still Smilingly, "During the first week of Middle School, in PE Class, when changing Clothes in the Changing Room, I Realize that Girls should wear Vests. I hadn't prepared one. My Mother Seemingly forgot. Fortunately, one of my Classmate's Mama had prepared a spare for her, and she was very nice and lent me one."
The time she really broke down was during her First Time Period. She relied on her Classmate's Help in a panic. Her Mother hadn't prepared anything for her. Thinking of herself that Day, she felt like a clumsy Idiot.
When she returned Home at Night, she specifically mentioned it to her Mother, and her Mother then told her what to do, but she didn't Discovery her inner panic and Fear, nor did she Comfort her.
Clearly, many Classmate's Mamas would explain to them in a gentle voice, Smilingly comforting their unease.
She wasn't sure whether the Emotion in her Heart was Resentment or unwillingness. After that, her Mother and Stepfather said that she couldn't associate with Children who would Hold Back, so she mixed into the Delinquent Group.
She told her Stepfather not to enter her Room and not to peek at her Things. That Man didn't agree, saying it was all for her own good, so she used the Money her biological Father gave her to rent a Secret Base Outside.
The angrier those two got, the happier she became, as if she was retaliating against the Neglect she had suffered, and also as if she was proving: Look, they do Care About me.
Ubu Saika rubbed her Face that had become stiff from Smiling, no longer maintaining a Smile, and her voice also became very soft, "How did it become like this…"
After her Mother had a Baby in her Belly, she Sense the Transformation. Those two suddenly became Indifference, no longer angry, no longer asking questions. When she returned Home, she was like a gust of air floating into the Home, occasionally hearing those two say a few words to her with gloomy Faces.
But Even If she had Sense it early on, she had never thought Before that her Mother would completely ignore her.
Now, she was really thrown away.
"I Don't Know what kind of Mood this is, and I can't explain it clearly…" Ubu Saika Turn Head to Look at the Man beside her who was silently smoking, and stretched her Hand towards the Cigarette Case placed beside the Man's Hand.
"Pa!"
Chi Feichei slapped Ubu Saika's Hand open with one Palm.
"It hurts!"
Ubu Saika withdrew her Hand, Looked at her red Hand back, and tears were about to burst out.
Chi Feichei put the Cigarette Case into his Pocket with his Right Hand, bit the Cigarette Butt, and said in a calm and low voice, "If you can't explain it clearly, then you need to read more Book."
Did he Understand what that Mood was like?
Probably Understand.
In his previous Life, when his Parents passed away, plus in this Life, in the Original Consciousness's Memory, when his Parents suddenly left, became Indifference, and became indifferent, he had two times just in his Memory.
After he crossed over, he hadn't Dream, but sometimes when he reviewed the Original Consciousness's Memory, it Seemingly sounded like a Little Boy's voice was constantly echoing:
'Look at me…'
'Please Look at me, please…'
'Please, Look at me…'
He Don't Know Whether Ubu Saika had cried, but he hadn't.
In his previous Life, when he Realized that he had lost his Parents forever, he didn't cry. The Original Consciousness also never cried again when he was completely desperate.
That Feeling was Just Like a Portion of his Heart evaporated, empty, and even the Ability to cry was lost along with it.
They were all trying to fill that blank space, making themselves busier so they wouldn't have Time to Feel it.
Then completely get used to it.
Even if the misunderstanding with Chi Shinnosuke and Chi Kana was resolved, he would have a Sense of Familiarity with those two, and he also Cared About those two, but he was just not used to Contacting those two to confide something.
"Can't you Comfort me A Bit?" Ubu Saika lowered her Head and rubbed the back of her Hand, and her Mood suddenly improved a lot, "By the Way, Raki, in the Email you sent me Before, you said that Takayama Otome harbored Resentment and was Easy to arouse Ambition… But I Think she is a very good Person. She didn't Help me get a Tattoo for Money, and she kept explaining the pros and cons to me, and she Seemingly hated her own background and didn't want to have any Connection with Violent Group at all. Can the Plan proceed?"
"Don't just Look at the surface of people," Chi Feichei Staring at the road ahead, his hoarse voice without a trace of Emotion, "What do you Think a Woman is in those Violent Group?"
"What is it?" Ubu Saika asked in Doubt.
Chi Feichei said without hesitation, "Tool, plaything."
The Status of Women in Japan is very low, and those Yakuza also adhere to the Ideology of the Edo Period, and are Right-wing Extreme. Women inside are even more without Status and can only be appendages of Men.
In Film and Television Play, there will be Women of Yakuza Leader, which Looks like they are very prestigious, but in fact, Women in Violent Group are just Tools to be manipulated. There are very few Women who really hold power. No matter how capable they are, many Internal people will not Care About them.
Just take Eguchi Noriko, who was Assassination by him Previously. She had her own Assets, led A Group of Women to do evil, and the large sum of Money she helped save even made the Organization tempted, but Eguchi Noriko was just dependent on a big Leader. Not only did she have to Help Making Money, but it was also common for her to Pour Water and serve Tea to A Group of people. The Money she helped save could be taken back if people wanted to take it back, without any Sovereignty.
And after Eguchi Noriko died, the Purpose of The Other Party's Investigation was Still to Chase the whereabouts of that Money and Confirm Whether other Gangs wanted to Start Doing something to them. No one Cared About Eguchi Noriko's Life and Death.
If you endure to become the Wife of a certain Leader, it will be even worse.
Many Women must become housewives after marrying Yakuza. The Home must be tidied up, and their own Men must be taken Care About. When A Group of Yakuza gather at Home, they must prepare food and drink, lay out the Bed and serve Dishes, and Packing Up and clean up. Sometimes they even have to wash Clothes for the Man's younger brothers and take Care About the Daily Life of more than ten people. In order not to cause Trouble for their Husbands, they stay at Home except for Go Out to buy groceries, and they don't even have Eguchi Noriko's Activity Space.
Dealing with Police Officer is also the Matter of these Women. If something happens to any of the Husbands' younger brothers, it is them who Ask the Police Officer about the Situation. It is also them who are responsible for receiving the Police when the Police come to Home for Investigation. After dealing with it, they have to Call their Husbands to report the Situation.
Those Women have no Reward, but they are willing to Work desperately, Just to make their Husbands have Face. In those Violent Group, the Ideology of 'a Wife's Status Rises with Her Husband's' is very serious.
If the Husband is arrested and imprisoned or dies, the Woman will also Work on behalf of her Husband, but after there is a new Candidate, she will lose everything, and even the shelter previously given by her Husband will be lost together.
Some of the filthier Things are even more needless to Say.
Among the Female Member of those Violent Group, in addition to the Wives and Daughters of the Member, there are also some women in the sex industry who are attached to the Violent Group, which are basically Tools for Men to vent.
Just now, Ubu Saika's Doubt didn't Seemingly be fake, In Other Words, this Girl had never thought about what her Future would be like at all. She Just Thought it was cool and wanted to anger her Mother and Stepfather, so she wanted to plunge into the big Pitfall of the black and evil Faction. From being a Delinquent to a Biker Gang, it is estimated that it is not far from mixing into Violent Group.
Takayama Otome, as the Illegitimate Daughter of the third generation Leader of the Kyokuto Society, her Status is not much higher than the bottom level. She has been following her Mother to wash Clothes, cook, and serve people since she was a Child. It was not until the third generation Leader who was nearly fifty years old recognized her Identity that she failed to become a Princess. Instead, she became a Tool for the third generation Leader to win over people's Hearts. In that year, the third generation Leader asked people to leave her with Tattoos all over her back and arms. In addition to her Status among Women being much higher, it only made her more likely to be regarded as a Target of Attack by hostile Faction, and it did not bring her any Benefit at all.
Takayama Otome is very smart. She learned the Skill of Tattooing and worked for ten years. After the death of the third generation Leader, Takayama Otome endured for more than ten years and became a Woman in her forties. Only then did she use the Favor accumulated over the years to break away from the Kyokuto Society.
Of course, the necessary Price is indispensable, and what is left is half a Little Finger.
The Intelligence of the Investigation cannot be detailed in every aspect, but many Details can show the Problem.
Takayama Otome used years of Accumulation to break away from the Kyokuto Society. Why didn't she completely sever the Connection with Violent Group?
Can't be severed? No, Takayama Otome did not suffer much Trouble when she withdrew. Other Group did not Care About her, and would not come to her for Trouble at all. When they met, they would Probably pretend to be Polite and say hello.
Not leaving is Because she is addicted to the Relationship and Status brought by the Accumulation of Favor, and Because she has lived in that Environment since she was a Child, her Ideology has been assimilated.
Even if her Status is Still not high, at least the people she meets are Polite to her, Isn't It?
Even if Takayama Otome Understand that those Violent Group have always maintained Politeness and politeness to people who do not belong to their Collective, and her politeness also comes from this, she Still feels satisfied.
Takayama Otome reveals her Disgust for the Life of Violent Group on the surface, but in fact she hates those History of her low Status, hates the past when she was treated with strange Gaze by Ordinary Person, but at the Same Time she cannot completely break away. After Repression for a long Time, her Personality is Easy to become extreme.
Power and Status are Takayama Otome's Achilles' heel. Due to the Impact she received since she was a Child, this kind of power and Status is only limited to Violent Group.
People who have grasped the Achilles' heel are very Suitable for utilization.
(End of Chapter)
