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Chapter 111 Percy, You Big Head
In the lemon-scented Empty Classroom, the tranquility was finally broken.
"A stipend?"
"Are you sure?"
"Saw it with my own eyes. A bulging moneybag. Even if it was all Sickles, that's a lot of money. More importantly, the professor said it was just for today."
"Damn it, I knew nothing good would come of that bighead going over there—we get punished, and he gets paid?"
"Exactly! No wonder he was so eager to send our lines back. Turns out he was getting paid!"
Normally, out of respect for the Weasley Twins (after all, no one could outdo them when it came to causing trouble), only they would call Percy a "bighead." But today, with everyone's temper flaring, they all threw caution to the wind. Calling him a "bighead" was putting it mildly.
But cursing him was one thing; there was nothing they could do about Percy—he was a Prefect.
Although a Prefect's privileges were far fewer than a professor's, if Percy really decided to target them, the consequences would be far more severe. Professors didn't usually visit the House common rooms, but a Prefect could, in theory, keep an eye on a student twenty-four hours a day.
After discussing potential pranks against Percy for a long time without any results, the group grew angrier with each passing moment. In the end, they decided—to target William.
"Let's put the Percy matter aside for now—I refuse to believe he doesn't make any mistakes. Right now, we need to focus our attention on the new professor!"
George declared resolutely, ready to forsake his family for the greater good, temporarily halting the discussion about Percy. They would settle the score with him later.
While scrubbing toilets, he'd had plenty of time to reflect on the recent gains and losses.
By the time Filch announced with satisfaction that they could leave, he already had a draft of a plan in his mind.
"The new professor? Forget it—I don't want to do any more papers. I feel like I've done a lifetime's worth of them today."
The person who had brought the news about Percy was now slumped over a table, looking utterly defeated.
"A lifetime?"
Fred let out a distinct scoff. "Let me give you a hint—you probably didn't see it since you were at the back finishing your papers. While we were copying that information, our dear new professor created three more papers! Yes, you heard me right, three!"
"Merlin's beard, three?"
"Yes, three. I saw it with my own eyes. The Quick-Quotes Quill barely ever stopped moving."
The temperature in the room seemed to rise by a degree, dispelling much of the earlier chill.
"Using magic to make papers—I hate magic!"
A Muggle-born wizard wailed in anguish—this was the first time since receiving his Hogwarts letter at age eleven that he felt magic was a terrifying thing.
"So what if he makes them? He's not our professor. If there's an exam, it'll be the Fifth Years who have to take it. Let them do it, right?"
One of the students from the "chamber pot crew" spoke up in confusion. He'd been assigned directly by Filch to wash chamber pots and, noticing the gloomy atmosphere in the room, wanted to lift everyone's spirits.
Although there were Fifth Year students in their group, they had gone back to catch up on sleep before getting caught because they had to rush their own papers. Since they weren't present now, he could make a lighthearted comment without worrying about getting hit.
"We just did a paper—and it wasn't even for a magical self-defense course. It was a jumble of random questions. I think the professor might have a hobby of making them. And considering the situation with Professor Binns, it seems he quite likes to cooperate with other professors."
...
The mood grew even colder.
"What were we discussing last time?"
"Right, writing love letters. Pretending to be a girl with a secret crush on him and writing a love letter."
"Yes, yes, good idea."
"Good idea? What's good about it? So many students get punished, and then the professor receives a love letter? Just think about it, it's suspicious. Let's postpone it. At least until after our detentions are over. We'll keep it in mind for later."
The original proposal was postponed indefinitely, and the group began to rack their brains for a way to divert the new professor's attention from making papers.
...
"Life in the wizarding world is so wonderful. Why would the professor devote his finite life to the infinite creation of papers?"
The Muggle-born wizard complained indignantly. The group had been thinking for a long time but still couldn't come up with a way to deal with the new professor.
Just as they were racking their brains, a sudden noise came from the classroom next door.
"Thump!"
"Ah!"
Then came some indistinct sounds—in reality, no one had any intention of listening.
The instant the sound was heard, the Weasley Twins drew their wands and pointed them at each other's heads. Their fiery red hair changed appearance almost instantly.
"Cover your faces and run together!"
"One, two—charge!"
The classroom door was thrown open, and the well-prepared troublemakers charged frantically towards the doorway, not even daring to look back.
*'Good thing we set a trap in the next classroom. That bought us some time.'*
The Weasley Twins thought thankfully, and as they passed a corner, they peeked through their fingers and glanced back at the Empty Classroom that had been next to theirs. The people from inside had already run out, and a flash of fiery red was incredibly eye-catching.
*'It's not Filch—Percy, you bighead! Not only did you reject my lines three times tonight, but now you're bringing people to catch me after detention is over. Think you're so great just because you're a Prefect?'*
Muttering under his breath, Fred didn't slow his pace at all, starting to run in a direction away from the Common Room—if they went straight back, Filch would most likely be waiting there.
After taking a deliberate detour, the two finally made it back to the Common Room safely.
"That was close—does he get a stipend for catching people too?"
Fred complained, panting heavily.
"If he were willing to give me half, I actually wouldn't mind getting caught a few times. But unfortunately, that git Percy wouldn't spare a single Knut."
"Inspecting us, then coming to catch us—maybe Percy can get a job at Hogwarts after graduation. Taking over for Filch, of course."
George wiped the sweat from his brow and cheerfully continued the conversation.
"Merlin, no. I suspect he'd bring his habits home with him. Imagine waking up during the summer holiday to a big head by your bedside—'Fred, George, you've got detention!'"
"Could anything be worse than that?"
The two of them looked at each other and laughed.
---
"Ginny—you have to swear you won't tell anyone."
"But—alright, Percy, if you—what was that sound?"
Ginny, who had stumbled upon a secret date, was being asked to swear an oath when she suddenly heard a noise from the next classroom.
"Is someone else here? Penelope—I'll go check. If anyone comes in, just say we were looking for students out after curfew. And, Ginny, those aren't your friends, are they?"
Percy poked his head out nervously, terrified that someone else would see him on his date.
"Please don't be a professor, please don't be Filch..."
Muttering words whose meaning even he wasn't sure of, Percy looked around.
Then, to Percy's utter astonishment, a whole swarm of students burst out from the classroom next door...
(end of chapter)
In the lemon-scented Empty Classroom, the tranquility was finally broken.
"A stipend?"
"Are you sure?"
"Saw it with my own eyes. A bulging moneybag. Even if it was all Sickles, that's a lot of money. More importantly, the professor said it was just for today."
"Damn it, I knew nothing good would come of that bighead going over there—we get punished, and he gets paid?"
"Exactly! No wonder he was so eager to send our lines back. Turns out he was getting paid!"
Normally, out of respect for the Weasley Twins (after all, no one could outdo them when it came to causing trouble), only they would call Percy a "bighead." But today, with everyone's temper flaring, they all threw caution to the wind. Calling him a "bighead" was putting it mildly.
But cursing him was one thing; there was nothing they could do about Percy—he was a Prefect.
Although a Prefect's privileges were far fewer than a professor's, if Percy really decided to target them, the consequences would be far more severe. Professors didn't usually visit the House common rooms, but a Prefect could, in theory, keep an eye on a student twenty-four hours a day.
After discussing potential pranks against Percy for a long time without any results, the group grew angrier with each passing moment. In the end, they decided—to target William.
"Let's put the Percy matter aside for now—I refuse to believe he doesn't make any mistakes. Right now, we need to focus our attention on the new professor!"
George declared resolutely, ready to forsake his family for the greater good, temporarily halting the discussion about Percy. They would settle the score with him later.
While scrubbing toilets, he'd had plenty of time to reflect on the recent gains and losses.
By the time Filch announced with satisfaction that they could leave, he already had a draft of a plan in his mind.
"The new professor? Forget it—I don't want to do any more papers. I feel like I've done a lifetime's worth of them today."
The person who had brought the news about Percy was now slumped over a table, looking utterly defeated.
"A lifetime?"
Fred let out a distinct scoff. "Let me give you a hint—you probably didn't see it since you were at the back finishing your papers. While we were copying that information, our dear new professor created three more papers! Yes, you heard me right, three!"
"Merlin's beard, three?"
"Yes, three. I saw it with my own eyes. The Quick-Quotes Quill barely ever stopped moving."
The temperature in the room seemed to rise by a degree, dispelling much of the earlier chill.
"Using magic to make papers—I hate magic!"
A Muggle-born wizard wailed in anguish—this was the first time since receiving his Hogwarts letter at age eleven that he felt magic was a terrifying thing.
"So what if he makes them? He's not our professor. If there's an exam, it'll be the Fifth Years who have to take it. Let them do it, right?"
One of the students from the "chamber pot crew" spoke up in confusion. He'd been assigned directly by Filch to wash chamber pots and, noticing the gloomy atmosphere in the room, wanted to lift everyone's spirits.
Although there were Fifth Year students in their group, they had gone back to catch up on sleep before getting caught because they had to rush their own papers. Since they weren't present now, he could make a lighthearted comment without worrying about getting hit.
"We just did a paper—and it wasn't even for a magical self-defense course. It was a jumble of random questions. I think the professor might have a hobby of making them. And considering the situation with Professor Binns, it seems he quite likes to cooperate with other professors."
...
The mood grew even colder.
"What were we discussing last time?"
"Right, writing love letters. Pretending to be a girl with a secret crush on him and writing a love letter."
"Yes, yes, good idea."
"Good idea? What's good about it? So many students get punished, and then the professor receives a love letter? Just think about it, it's suspicious. Let's postpone it. At least until after our detentions are over. We'll keep it in mind for later."
The original proposal was postponed indefinitely, and the group began to rack their brains for a way to divert the new professor's attention from making papers.
...
"Life in the wizarding world is so wonderful. Why would the professor devote his finite life to the infinite creation of papers?"
The Muggle-born wizard complained indignantly. The group had been thinking for a long time but still couldn't come up with a way to deal with the new professor.
Just as they were racking their brains, a sudden noise came from the classroom next door.
"Thump!"
"Ah!"
Then came some indistinct sounds—in reality, no one had any intention of listening.
The instant the sound was heard, the Weasley Twins drew their wands and pointed them at each other's heads. Their fiery red hair changed appearance almost instantly.
"Cover your faces and run together!"
"One, two—charge!"
The classroom door was thrown open, and the well-prepared troublemakers charged frantically towards the doorway, not even daring to look back.
*'Good thing we set a trap in the next classroom. That bought us some time.'*
The Weasley Twins thought thankfully, and as they passed a corner, they peeked through their fingers and glanced back at the Empty Classroom that had been next to theirs. The people from inside had already run out, and a flash of fiery red was incredibly eye-catching.
*'It's not Filch—Percy, you bighead! Not only did you reject my lines three times tonight, but now you're bringing people to catch me after detention is over. Think you're so great just because you're a Prefect?'*
Muttering under his breath, Fred didn't slow his pace at all, starting to run in a direction away from the Common Room—if they went straight back, Filch would most likely be waiting there.
After taking a deliberate detour, the two finally made it back to the Common Room safely.
"That was close—does he get a stipend for catching people too?"
Fred complained, panting heavily.
"If he were willing to give me half, I actually wouldn't mind getting caught a few times. But unfortunately, that git Percy wouldn't spare a single Knut."
"Inspecting us, then coming to catch us—maybe Percy can get a job at Hogwarts after graduation. Taking over for Filch, of course."
George wiped the sweat from his brow and cheerfully continued the conversation.
"Merlin, no. I suspect he'd bring his habits home with him. Imagine waking up during the summer holiday to a big head by your bedside—'Fred, George, you've got detention!'"
"Could anything be worse than that?"
The two of them looked at each other and laughed.
---
"Ginny—you have to swear you won't tell anyone."
"But—alright, Percy, if you—what was that sound?"
Ginny, who had stumbled upon a secret date, was being asked to swear an oath when she suddenly heard a noise from the next classroom.
"Is someone else here? Penelope—I'll go check. If anyone comes in, just say we were looking for students out after curfew. And, Ginny, those aren't your friends, are they?"
Percy poked his head out nervously, terrified that someone else would see him on his date.
"Please don't be a professor, please don't be Filch..."
Muttering words whose meaning even he wasn't sure of, Percy looked around.
Then, to Percy's utter astonishment, a whole swarm of students burst out from the classroom next door...
(end of chapter)
