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Chapter 564 Cursed Secret
"If it rains later, probably no Guest will come today," Chi Feichei sat down on the Sofa and saw Chi Kana looking at the Doll Wall, explaining, "Hissashi and Non-Ink made it."
"I..." Chi Kana lowered her eyes, she didn't believe that Animals could hang these up. Just thinking about how psychologically repressed one must be to make such a Doll Wall made her feel like collapsing. "I am very sorry, about Hiroki, about... I know you will be very sad, but..."
Chi Feichei got up and sat beside Chi Kana, turning his head to look at Chi Kana, "You don't need to make an Apology, and you don't need to avoid me anymore. I Said, I want to talk to you about Genetic Disease."
Chi Kana still lowered her head, her right hand twisting the Skirt Hem.
Chi Feichei waited for a while, and took the initiative to speak, "Initially, you didn't Intention to give birth to me."
Chi Kana looked up in surprise, meeting Chi Feichei's calm Eyes, she was stunned for a moment, then looked at the Scented Candle burning on the Table. The usual smile in her Eyes was gone, filled with pain and Struggle, "I, I just..."
"Just between losing a Child and watching a Child live in pain, you had a Difference with my Father," Chi Feichei retracted his Line of Sight, "Because of Genetic Disease?"
Chi Kana looked at the Candlelight of the Scented Candle in the Room, her Eyes were a little lost, "I... have four Older Brother, but I have never seen my Eldest Brother. Second Brother is much older than me... To be precise, he is 15 years older than me. He is a very steady Man, able to take care of Younger Brother and Younger Sister, able to deal with those who come to make Troublesome, although sometimes he will suddenly lose control of his Emotion and become very irritable, but he always avoids other People All and goes to vent by Oneself. From the Time I could remember things, he was like the Man of the Family, able to bear everything..."
"When I was very young, I admired Second Brother the most, but I liked Third Brother the most. Third Brother liked to smile very much, he would make me happy, he would Keep Company me to Inspection, Keep Company me to Training... It was Training to go Downstairs, eat, and walk with my Eyes covered. What I was most Afraid of was Fourth Brother, Because he was always wrapped in a Black Robe, standing silently behind me and Staring at me gloomily..."
Hissashi crawled from the Entrance to the Sofa, listening quietly.
Non-Ink arrived at some point, placing two bright red Roses in his mouth on the Window sill, and realizing that the Atmosphere was not right, he did not make a sound to disturb them.
"I was very Afraid of him, always..." Chi Kana lowered her head, a Tear fell on her white Skirt, and was quickly absorbed by the fabric. After a pause, she tried hard to maintain a peaceful Tone, "Until I was four years old, I ran to the Courtyard to play by Oneself and fell into the Water. That Day, Second Brother and Mother went Out, and Third Brother was still rushing Downstairs from Upstairs. Fourth Brother ran Step Forward faster than the Servant, jumped into the Water and picked me up. I was Scared and cried loudly, and accidentally tore off the Black Robe he was wearing. He still didn't Say anything. When we got Inside the Room, I Realize that his hand, Neck, and Face exposed Outside were all covered with Blister, which looked terrifying, but I just felt sad..."
"From that Day, I Realize that the Reason why Fourth Brother had been secretly Staring at me from behind was Because he really wanted to hug me, but his Face looked old like an Old Man, and the Rash would recur repeatedly, and his body was covered with Scar, he was Afraid of Scared me, so he didn't dare to approach me..."
"Third Brother's Eyes can't See. The Training he made me do since I was a Child was to prevent me from becoming blind one Day. Even if he can't See, he can still go Upstairs and Go Downstairs very well, and he can accurately pick me up. He is so amazing, but that Day I caused him to fall when he rushed Downstairs..."
"Second Brother also can't be exposed to the Sun for too long. When the Sunlight is very bright, he will uncontrollably shed Tears..."
Chi Feichei took a piece of Paper, put his arm around Chi Kana's trembling Shoulder, lowered his head and gently Erase the Tears streaming down Chi Kana's Face.
This was the First Time he heard his Mother talk about his uncles.
"I heard Second Brother and Third Brother quarreling. Second Brother Said that he hated our Mother, no... it was Resentment," Chi Kana sobbed with her head lowered, "He Said, our Mother should not have given birth to us one by one... I didn't Understand at the Time, and I didn't Know what else they Said afterwards, Because Fourth Brother Discovery me Outside the Door and carried me away."
"But Second Brother still felt sorry for our Mother. He would sometimes lose his temper at Mother, but he would awkwardly Help our Mother deal with piles and piles of Documents that made People's Head ache. When someone Said bad things about our Mother, he was also the angriest..."
"Except when he quarreled with Second Brother, Third Brother was still so fond of Smiling, liked to tease Second Brother for being awkward, and then quarreled with Second Brother again. Third Brother also Smilingly comforted me, saying that the Family had spent a lot of Money and found many, many good Doctors and Researchers who Specially solved our Problems, and we would all get better..."
"And Fourth Brother, he still didn't Say anything, didn't let me Look at his Face, and still liked to stand quietly behind me and Look at me. I tried hard to tease him to speak, and tried every Method to Look at his Face. He was never angry, But I never succeeded either. I really won't be Afraid, no Matter what he looks like, I won't be Afraid..."
"When I turned six years old, the Family was very happy," Chi Kana smiled bitterly, and Said softly, "Because I didn't lose my sight. At my Birthday Banquet that year, my 20-year-old Older Brother... my Second Brother, he met a Girl he liked, but he didn't dare to Step Forward. Why? He was obviously so excellent, but he Said that he sometimes couldn't control his Emotions, and he couldn't Promise whether his future Child would be like him. He gave up. We encouraged him to try, and he was still hesitating, but in the second year, a Fire broke out in the Kitchen. He directed the Servants to leave, but he never came out again..."
"Third Brother didn't smile for a long Time, But in less than half a year, he started Smiling again. He took over Second Brother's previous Matters, began to receive Guests who came to the Home, and began to arrange the Life of me and Fourth Brother. Me and Fourth Brother also began to Help..."
"In the year I was nine years old, my Fourth Brother passed away. The Skin on his body began to fester piece by piece, and his liver also had Problems. When he was lying on the Bed, I went to See him every Day, watching him suffer, watching him endure..."
"During that Time, the Person who quarreled with Mother changed from Second Brother to Third Brother, But Third Brother, like Second Brother, would feel guilty and make an Apology to Mother after saying excessive Words..."
"On the Day of Fourth Brother's Funeral, my Third Brother also had an accident. Before he jumped Downstairs from Upstairs, he didn't smile again. His Face was so Mad and terrifying for the First Time, and he hysterically roared at People All, 'There is no Hope, this terrible Curse cannot be Break Away from, I watched my Older Brother die, watched my Younger Brother die, I am Afraid that one Day I will also See my Little Sister die... No, no, I am blind, I can't See anything, I can't even Look at their Faces for the last Time!', But, it was him who had been encouraging us before..."
"From that Day onwards, I lost all my Older Brother..."
"Actually, Mother is very good to us. She can cook, Keep Company us to read Book, and Keep Company us to play. In the Night, she always goes to each Room to Check if we are asleep, But I also began to Don't Understand why she gave birth to us All..."
"I took over everything from my Older Brother. I learned from their example, received Guests, arranged the Servants at Home, I studied hard and didn't let anyone worry. I would also quarrel with my Mother uncontrollably like Second Brother and Third Brother. I love her, but I also hate her, and I feel even more sorry for her."
"I hate even more those People who hurt her openly and secretly with the Matters of my Older Brother. Those People always hurt her with the Matters of my Older Brother with a Face of indifference, saying she is a Witch, saying this is a Curse. My Father has no room to speak, and those People will not give him room to speak either, always blocking him with the fact that he is an Outsider," Chi Kana lowered her head, Tears kept flowing, but she clenched her Teeth tightly, "They opened up the Injury in our Family's Heart again and again, sprinkled Salt on it, hoping to See my Father and Mother retreat and become weak, and then pounce on us and tear us apart! I told Oneself again and again that I can't get sick, even if I get sick, I will drag those Fellows to be buried with me!"
"But you married my Father afterwards, and came to Japan with him, and no longer managed the Family's Matters," Chi Feichei asked softly, "At that Time, did you give up?"
"When your Father proposed Marriage Proposal, I told him that I would not want Child, and he replied Okay. I asked him, he is the only Child in the Family, if there are no Child, what should be done with the Family's Assets, he Said that he could find other People to Inheritance," Chi Kana leaned on Chi Feichei's Shoulder, still Staring at the Candlelight, "At that Time, I suddenly felt that I shouldn't be entangled in those Matters anymore. Like my Parents expected, have a Husband who loves me, have a happy Family, and have Time to Check on them. I began to learn to be a Japanese wife..."
The Contraception Method at that Time was already very advanced, But Chi Shinnosuke did not agree with Chi Kana having Surgery, Because there were still many examples of Infection or Physical Discomfort.
Then, after two years of Contraception, there was suddenly an Error, and a small Life appeared.
Chi Kana had Psychological Trauma about 'Bloodline' since she was a Child. No one was more unwilling than her to have this Child born. She wanted to have an abortion, But Chi Shinnosuke did not agree.
This was the most initial Conflict.
"But you also couldn't bear to, so you compromised," Chi Feichei Said.
"I couldn't bear to, but I also Don't Know whether I should keep you, so I was persuaded by him," Chi Kana lowered her Eyes, remembering the First Time she took over that little Life, the throbbing and joy in her Heart, nostalgic and a little sad, "Then you were born, a Boy, with Purple Eyes Same as me. I was Afraid every Day. I Don't Know whether I should tell you everything, whether I should take you to do that kind of Training of doing things with your Eyes covered since you were a Child. I wanted to hide it if I could..."
"I don't need that kind of Training." Chi Feichei put his arm around Chi Kana's Shoulder and Said softly, "My Eyes are fine."
"Yes, your Eyes are fine, but the Eyes of... your Second Uncle, your Fourth Uncle, they lived more painfully, they could not live like Normal Person," Chi Kana's voice gradually increased, "You are growing up Day by Day, and I am getting more and more Fearful. If you Discovery one Day that you suddenly become Different from other Child, will you be sad? If one Day you have to lie on the Bed, will you Resent your birth? If... if one Day... you meet a Girl you like, what should I tell you?"
Chi Feichei was silent, letting Chi Kana vent her Emotions.
"Tell you, the Bloodline on your body may one Day make you infected with some incurable Disease, and your Child may also be like this? The Girl you like may not be able to accept you Because of this, and you even have to Struggle to make a Choice between being a Father or not! You have to love your Mother and hate her at the Same Time? What do you want me to do..." Chi Kana suddenly pushed Chi Feichei away, stood up and Staring at Chi Feichei, her Eye sockets were frighteningly red, and Tears flowed down her Face, "Letting you be born was originally a Mistake, maybe you should have been born in a Normal Family, not here with me! Why don't you hate me? I am just an irresponsible Mother! A Mother who abandons you and doesn't care about you at all! You..."
Chi Feichei got up and gently hugged Chi Kana, his Mood was complicated.
Outside, his Mother was so decent. She was the current head of the Field Group, an excellent and perfect representative of Female.
In the past few years... even after he Transferred over, she was always so Gentle, not conveying a bit of negative Emotion to him or the original Consciousness, and was unwilling to let him See even the dark side of the business world, supporting him to choose to be a Veterinarian or any other Profession, and live a simple and happy Life.
But she was Afraid to Keep Company her Child, and also Hope he would hate her, Hope to dilute Affection, so that each other would not be so painful, But, how could leaving a Child make one happy?
In the Clip he searched in his Memory, Chi Kana's complicated and guilty Gaze at that Moment had appeared more than once.
The original Consciousness, including when he just Transferred over, felt that it was an Apology for neglecting the Child Because of being busy with Career, a 'sudden Discovery of conscience', and never saw how heavy that guilt was.
The Mother who was always Gentle and decent in Memory has been living in a quagmire of pain, entangled, conflicted, and painful.
Or rather, People with the Same Bloodline are struggling in pain, his Grandmother, his uncles, his Mother... This does look like a Curse.
(End of Chapter)
"If it rains later, probably no Guest will come today," Chi Feichei sat down on the Sofa and saw Chi Kana looking at the Doll Wall, explaining, "Hissashi and Non-Ink made it."
"I..." Chi Kana lowered her eyes, she didn't believe that Animals could hang these up. Just thinking about how psychologically repressed one must be to make such a Doll Wall made her feel like collapsing. "I am very sorry, about Hiroki, about... I know you will be very sad, but..."
Chi Feichei got up and sat beside Chi Kana, turning his head to look at Chi Kana, "You don't need to make an Apology, and you don't need to avoid me anymore. I Said, I want to talk to you about Genetic Disease."
Chi Kana still lowered her head, her right hand twisting the Skirt Hem.
Chi Feichei waited for a while, and took the initiative to speak, "Initially, you didn't Intention to give birth to me."
Chi Kana looked up in surprise, meeting Chi Feichei's calm Eyes, she was stunned for a moment, then looked at the Scented Candle burning on the Table. The usual smile in her Eyes was gone, filled with pain and Struggle, "I, I just..."
"Just between losing a Child and watching a Child live in pain, you had a Difference with my Father," Chi Feichei retracted his Line of Sight, "Because of Genetic Disease?"
Chi Kana looked at the Candlelight of the Scented Candle in the Room, her Eyes were a little lost, "I... have four Older Brother, but I have never seen my Eldest Brother. Second Brother is much older than me... To be precise, he is 15 years older than me. He is a very steady Man, able to take care of Younger Brother and Younger Sister, able to deal with those who come to make Troublesome, although sometimes he will suddenly lose control of his Emotion and become very irritable, but he always avoids other People All and goes to vent by Oneself. From the Time I could remember things, he was like the Man of the Family, able to bear everything..."
"When I was very young, I admired Second Brother the most, but I liked Third Brother the most. Third Brother liked to smile very much, he would make me happy, he would Keep Company me to Inspection, Keep Company me to Training... It was Training to go Downstairs, eat, and walk with my Eyes covered. What I was most Afraid of was Fourth Brother, Because he was always wrapped in a Black Robe, standing silently behind me and Staring at me gloomily..."
Hissashi crawled from the Entrance to the Sofa, listening quietly.
Non-Ink arrived at some point, placing two bright red Roses in his mouth on the Window sill, and realizing that the Atmosphere was not right, he did not make a sound to disturb them.
"I was very Afraid of him, always..." Chi Kana lowered her head, a Tear fell on her white Skirt, and was quickly absorbed by the fabric. After a pause, she tried hard to maintain a peaceful Tone, "Until I was four years old, I ran to the Courtyard to play by Oneself and fell into the Water. That Day, Second Brother and Mother went Out, and Third Brother was still rushing Downstairs from Upstairs. Fourth Brother ran Step Forward faster than the Servant, jumped into the Water and picked me up. I was Scared and cried loudly, and accidentally tore off the Black Robe he was wearing. He still didn't Say anything. When we got Inside the Room, I Realize that his hand, Neck, and Face exposed Outside were all covered with Blister, which looked terrifying, but I just felt sad..."
"From that Day, I Realize that the Reason why Fourth Brother had been secretly Staring at me from behind was Because he really wanted to hug me, but his Face looked old like an Old Man, and the Rash would recur repeatedly, and his body was covered with Scar, he was Afraid of Scared me, so he didn't dare to approach me..."
"Third Brother's Eyes can't See. The Training he made me do since I was a Child was to prevent me from becoming blind one Day. Even if he can't See, he can still go Upstairs and Go Downstairs very well, and he can accurately pick me up. He is so amazing, but that Day I caused him to fall when he rushed Downstairs..."
"Second Brother also can't be exposed to the Sun for too long. When the Sunlight is very bright, he will uncontrollably shed Tears..."
Chi Feichei took a piece of Paper, put his arm around Chi Kana's trembling Shoulder, lowered his head and gently Erase the Tears streaming down Chi Kana's Face.
This was the First Time he heard his Mother talk about his uncles.
"I heard Second Brother and Third Brother quarreling. Second Brother Said that he hated our Mother, no... it was Resentment," Chi Kana sobbed with her head lowered, "He Said, our Mother should not have given birth to us one by one... I didn't Understand at the Time, and I didn't Know what else they Said afterwards, Because Fourth Brother Discovery me Outside the Door and carried me away."
"But Second Brother still felt sorry for our Mother. He would sometimes lose his temper at Mother, but he would awkwardly Help our Mother deal with piles and piles of Documents that made People's Head ache. When someone Said bad things about our Mother, he was also the angriest..."
"Except when he quarreled with Second Brother, Third Brother was still so fond of Smiling, liked to tease Second Brother for being awkward, and then quarreled with Second Brother again. Third Brother also Smilingly comforted me, saying that the Family had spent a lot of Money and found many, many good Doctors and Researchers who Specially solved our Problems, and we would all get better..."
"And Fourth Brother, he still didn't Say anything, didn't let me Look at his Face, and still liked to stand quietly behind me and Look at me. I tried hard to tease him to speak, and tried every Method to Look at his Face. He was never angry, But I never succeeded either. I really won't be Afraid, no Matter what he looks like, I won't be Afraid..."
"When I turned six years old, the Family was very happy," Chi Kana smiled bitterly, and Said softly, "Because I didn't lose my sight. At my Birthday Banquet that year, my 20-year-old Older Brother... my Second Brother, he met a Girl he liked, but he didn't dare to Step Forward. Why? He was obviously so excellent, but he Said that he sometimes couldn't control his Emotions, and he couldn't Promise whether his future Child would be like him. He gave up. We encouraged him to try, and he was still hesitating, but in the second year, a Fire broke out in the Kitchen. He directed the Servants to leave, but he never came out again..."
"Third Brother didn't smile for a long Time, But in less than half a year, he started Smiling again. He took over Second Brother's previous Matters, began to receive Guests who came to the Home, and began to arrange the Life of me and Fourth Brother. Me and Fourth Brother also began to Help..."
"In the year I was nine years old, my Fourth Brother passed away. The Skin on his body began to fester piece by piece, and his liver also had Problems. When he was lying on the Bed, I went to See him every Day, watching him suffer, watching him endure..."
"During that Time, the Person who quarreled with Mother changed from Second Brother to Third Brother, But Third Brother, like Second Brother, would feel guilty and make an Apology to Mother after saying excessive Words..."
"On the Day of Fourth Brother's Funeral, my Third Brother also had an accident. Before he jumped Downstairs from Upstairs, he didn't smile again. His Face was so Mad and terrifying for the First Time, and he hysterically roared at People All, 'There is no Hope, this terrible Curse cannot be Break Away from, I watched my Older Brother die, watched my Younger Brother die, I am Afraid that one Day I will also See my Little Sister die... No, no, I am blind, I can't See anything, I can't even Look at their Faces for the last Time!', But, it was him who had been encouraging us before..."
"From that Day onwards, I lost all my Older Brother..."
"Actually, Mother is very good to us. She can cook, Keep Company us to read Book, and Keep Company us to play. In the Night, she always goes to each Room to Check if we are asleep, But I also began to Don't Understand why she gave birth to us All..."
"I took over everything from my Older Brother. I learned from their example, received Guests, arranged the Servants at Home, I studied hard and didn't let anyone worry. I would also quarrel with my Mother uncontrollably like Second Brother and Third Brother. I love her, but I also hate her, and I feel even more sorry for her."
"I hate even more those People who hurt her openly and secretly with the Matters of my Older Brother. Those People always hurt her with the Matters of my Older Brother with a Face of indifference, saying she is a Witch, saying this is a Curse. My Father has no room to speak, and those People will not give him room to speak either, always blocking him with the fact that he is an Outsider," Chi Kana lowered her head, Tears kept flowing, but she clenched her Teeth tightly, "They opened up the Injury in our Family's Heart again and again, sprinkled Salt on it, hoping to See my Father and Mother retreat and become weak, and then pounce on us and tear us apart! I told Oneself again and again that I can't get sick, even if I get sick, I will drag those Fellows to be buried with me!"
"But you married my Father afterwards, and came to Japan with him, and no longer managed the Family's Matters," Chi Feichei asked softly, "At that Time, did you give up?"
"When your Father proposed Marriage Proposal, I told him that I would not want Child, and he replied Okay. I asked him, he is the only Child in the Family, if there are no Child, what should be done with the Family's Assets, he Said that he could find other People to Inheritance," Chi Kana leaned on Chi Feichei's Shoulder, still Staring at the Candlelight, "At that Time, I suddenly felt that I shouldn't be entangled in those Matters anymore. Like my Parents expected, have a Husband who loves me, have a happy Family, and have Time to Check on them. I began to learn to be a Japanese wife..."
The Contraception Method at that Time was already very advanced, But Chi Shinnosuke did not agree with Chi Kana having Surgery, Because there were still many examples of Infection or Physical Discomfort.
Then, after two years of Contraception, there was suddenly an Error, and a small Life appeared.
Chi Kana had Psychological Trauma about 'Bloodline' since she was a Child. No one was more unwilling than her to have this Child born. She wanted to have an abortion, But Chi Shinnosuke did not agree.
This was the most initial Conflict.
"But you also couldn't bear to, so you compromised," Chi Feichei Said.
"I couldn't bear to, but I also Don't Know whether I should keep you, so I was persuaded by him," Chi Kana lowered her Eyes, remembering the First Time she took over that little Life, the throbbing and joy in her Heart, nostalgic and a little sad, "Then you were born, a Boy, with Purple Eyes Same as me. I was Afraid every Day. I Don't Know whether I should tell you everything, whether I should take you to do that kind of Training of doing things with your Eyes covered since you were a Child. I wanted to hide it if I could..."
"I don't need that kind of Training." Chi Feichei put his arm around Chi Kana's Shoulder and Said softly, "My Eyes are fine."
"Yes, your Eyes are fine, but the Eyes of... your Second Uncle, your Fourth Uncle, they lived more painfully, they could not live like Normal Person," Chi Kana's voice gradually increased, "You are growing up Day by Day, and I am getting more and more Fearful. If you Discovery one Day that you suddenly become Different from other Child, will you be sad? If one Day you have to lie on the Bed, will you Resent your birth? If... if one Day... you meet a Girl you like, what should I tell you?"
Chi Feichei was silent, letting Chi Kana vent her Emotions.
"Tell you, the Bloodline on your body may one Day make you infected with some incurable Disease, and your Child may also be like this? The Girl you like may not be able to accept you Because of this, and you even have to Struggle to make a Choice between being a Father or not! You have to love your Mother and hate her at the Same Time? What do you want me to do..." Chi Kana suddenly pushed Chi Feichei away, stood up and Staring at Chi Feichei, her Eye sockets were frighteningly red, and Tears flowed down her Face, "Letting you be born was originally a Mistake, maybe you should have been born in a Normal Family, not here with me! Why don't you hate me? I am just an irresponsible Mother! A Mother who abandons you and doesn't care about you at all! You..."
Chi Feichei got up and gently hugged Chi Kana, his Mood was complicated.
Outside, his Mother was so decent. She was the current head of the Field Group, an excellent and perfect representative of Female.
In the past few years... even after he Transferred over, she was always so Gentle, not conveying a bit of negative Emotion to him or the original Consciousness, and was unwilling to let him See even the dark side of the business world, supporting him to choose to be a Veterinarian or any other Profession, and live a simple and happy Life.
But she was Afraid to Keep Company her Child, and also Hope he would hate her, Hope to dilute Affection, so that each other would not be so painful, But, how could leaving a Child make one happy?
In the Clip he searched in his Memory, Chi Kana's complicated and guilty Gaze at that Moment had appeared more than once.
The original Consciousness, including when he just Transferred over, felt that it was an Apology for neglecting the Child Because of being busy with Career, a 'sudden Discovery of conscience', and never saw how heavy that guilt was.
The Mother who was always Gentle and decent in Memory has been living in a quagmire of pain, entangled, conflicted, and painful.
Or rather, People with the Same Bloodline are struggling in pain, his Grandmother, his uncles, his Mother... This does look like a Curse.
(End of Chapter)
